Hard Choices

Life if full of choices.  Some are hard and some are easy.  It is amazing to know that everyday we make probaly over 100 choices a day.  We make the choice of what we are going to wear, we make the choice of going to work or calling in sick (playing hoockey), we make the choice of what to have to for dinner, lunch, I am sure that you get my drift.  One of the hardest choices that I had to make was the choice not to have any children.  Of course I was not alone in this choice.  My husband and I talked and talked about it just about every night for a few years.  Knowing that I could pass NF down to my child scared me and also knowing that if my child did have it they could be worse off then I am.  What I went through growing up (the surgeries and the teasing) was enough for me to not want to make an innocent child go through that. Are my husband and I selfish? Some people think yes, that we should've taken the chance and see what happens, and some do not blame us for the choice.  Am I sad that I can't have children? Yes I am at times. But in a lot of ways my void is filled for the fact that I work at a day care with wonderful children.  There are times where I wish I could take them home and cuddle them and what not and then there are times where I am so happy to part company for the night- LOL.   What gets me upset is that there are a lot of people who have children that should not of even had kids. Either becuase they are just horrible people and there are parents that their career comes first. Are these people insane. I understand that parents need to work, but if you know before having a child that you are going to be dropping your child(ren) off at a day care for 12 hours a day- then DO NOT HAVE A CHILD YET! I am the one that is seeing them grow and learn, and talk.  I have also seen a child's first words and first steps. Shouldn't the parent see that. Also I have children call me "mama", and of course I correct them. But picture it, a child gets dropped off at 630am and gets picked up a 530pm-600pm. Child goes homes, has dinner, a bath and by now it is say around 730-800, time to go to bed. REALLY?? So the parent got to spend what an hour and a half with their child and the day care worker spent 12 hours.  Is it me or is there something wrong with this picture?

New Year

Will 2011 be the year that there will end up being a cure of NF? That would be awesome, but if not then we just to keep praying about it, that someday there will be a cure. 
I am still thinking of writing a book about my life dealing with NF.  I keep telling myself that I am going to write down idea and get it started, but have I done that yet- no :(  I do not know why I keep procrastinating on it. I need to get the ball on the road.